The topic of this post is quite interesting, because it’s a realisation that I only came to recently….and I mean as recently as just a couple of weeks ago. It’s funny because the realisation when it came felt quite subtle, but I later understood just how huge it really was.

It was Tuesday and my day off…the first day off I’d had in about 6 days. Firstly I was exhausted and wanted to rest—but secondly, I also wanted to make the most of this precious day off.

I woke up in the morning feeling quite happy, although it was grey and cloudy outside—in that moment the greyness didn’t matter.

My happiness was shattered a second later however, when my mind suddenly came in with the comment…

“Typical isn’t it, the first day off I’ve had in a week, it has to be cloudy and grey!”

At first I didn’t think very much about this comment, because it was just my minds normal way of commenting.

But then my mind started questioning.

“Why is it so grey just today! When all the other days have been so sunny and bright? Why isn’t it sunny?

The minute these thoughts registered, I started feeling upset. I felt myself getting quite and angry that it wasn’t sunny.

Next came a flood of negative thoughts rushing my mind, hightening my anger and frustration.

But while all this was going on, another thought came, which said, “But weren’t you were happy a minute ago, what changed?”

It suddenly hit me like a slap in the face!

I realised it was the mind questioning and making a judgment on the weather that caused my mood to change from acceptance to anger—from happiness to suffering.

Without the mind’s commentry and judgement, I would  have continued to been happy!

Wow, could this really be true?

This was such a huge understanding that literally stopped me in my tracks.

But I needed more time to really see it in action, so I spent the next few days watching my mind and listening to the comments it made, seeing how these comments negatively or positively affected my mood.

I was quite surprised to see how clearly the mind questioning and refusing to accept the reality that was presenting itself, was creating my suffering!

This may sound really simple to some of you reading this, but honestly, it was a really huge realisation for me!

Isn’t it true that we believe everything our mind tells us?

And why do we believe it? Well we believe it because we think our toughts must be true if we’re having them, right?

Well the reality is, just because we have thoughts, doesn’t make them true.

What I see is that the toughts we have, have the power to create and define our reality—but only when we buy into those thoughts.

The key here then, is to try to see reality as it is—that is, reality without the interferrance of the mind with it’s thoughts or commentries on that reality we’re experiencing.

But what exactly do I mean by this?

Well if we take the example I described earlier with the weather scenario.

When I woke up to the grey day, at first my mind didn’t question it, but rather accepted the greyness in that moment. In accepting what I was seeing, meant  I was accepting the physical reality that was presenting itself to me without judging it as good or bad and without trying to change it.

In this acceptance, there was no suffering.

However, the moment my mind came in and began questioning and making  judgements on the reality it was experiencing, that’s when my suffering began.

Does this make sense?

So, when we have pain for example, whether it’s physical or psychological pain we’re having, the pain we’re experiencing in that moment is our reality .

Accepting this reality does not increase our suffering.

Of course we can argue that the pain itself is suffering—Well yes it is, but this pain is our reality. Accepting our reality allows us to bear the pain or treat it in a conscious way without escalating it through the questions our mind throws up.

The point is, when the mind starts asking questions such as: Why do I have this pain?, Why is it only me who is in pain?, What have I done to deserve this pain?, Haven’t I suffered enough? Why is my life like this? When will my situation change? Why me? Why me? Why me?

Or the mind starts trying to change the reality by saying things like: Why isn’t it like this? Why isnt it like that? It should be like this, or it would be better if  it could only was like that…

It’s these questions that are the cause of our suffering.

Why not try observing your mind for yourself to see if you agree with me.

The truth is, there are some realities we cannot change and which we have no control over, in these situations it’s better for us to simply try to accept that we cannot change them.

So let’s not waste any more energy and spend any more time suffering over the things we cannot change.

Wouldn’t our energy be better spent on taking action towards the things we can change?

Learning to see reality as it is, is the key!