Let me ask you a question—Are you happy with where you are in your life? If the answer is no, then this article is for you.

How many times have you heard friends and family members complain about where they are in life?

Quite a lot, right?

Well, the problem is, just complaining about your situation isn’t going to change it.

The only way for you to change something, is by you taking the physical or mental steps needed to bring about a change to the things you’re unhappy about.

So, what this essentially means is, you must take responsibility for exactly where you are in life, whether you like where you are or not.

Does this sound a bit harsh?

Well, taking responsibility for where you are in life is the key, because when you can accept that you are at least in some part responsible for what you’ve created in your life, you open the doors for potential change.

Opening these doors allows you to take a critical look at what is working in your life, but even more importantly, what isn’t working.

However, if you deny responsibility for where you are, you are in essence disempowering your ability to make any necessary changes.

I believe you can only fully empower your life when you accept total responsibility for it.

So, can you accept that you’ve taken the conscious or unconscious steps, that you’ve made decisions knowingly or unknowingly that have brought you to where you are today?

If the answer is yes, then you are giving yourself the opportunity to make the changes you truly wish to make.

On the other hand, if you’re not accepting full responsibility for your life—if you think someone else is responsible for where you are, then you’re handing over dominion of your life to that person.

Is that what you want?

Although, I do think it’s easier to blame others for where we are.

Many people blame their parents for not giving them what they feel they should have had. Some blame society for not showering them with the right opportunities. Others blame God, the Universe, you name it…We blame everyone else apart from ourselves.

But blaming others, leads to inertia and keeps you passively rooted to where you are. It makes you unable to take any steps in the right direction, leaving you stuck in the same old repetitive framework.

Blaming including anything outside of yourself and of blaming yourself for that matter is impractical and to be honest a waste of time too.

Because when you think someone else is responsible for your life, status, happiness, or wellbeing in life, you will be looking to that someone to make the changes for you, and furthermore, you will wrongfully believe that you cannot change anything.

However, the crux of the matter is, you are the only one that can change your life—friends and family can certainly be of help, but they cannot change your life for you.

So when you realise that something isn’t working in your life, rather than blaming, try to instead take the actions you need to take.

So, the question I want to ask you is why aren’t you taking responsibility for your life, why are you delegating responsibility to others?

If you’re not used to being your own person, then I can understand that the thought of being solely responsible for your life may feel a bit scary. Because now, there’s no one else to hold accountable but yourself for your failures or successes.

It may even be failure you’re afraid of, although in my view, failure is simply the other side of the coin to success. It sometimes takes failure to gain a success.

So rather than being afraid of failure, look at every failure as a learning opportunity, an opportunity that can eventually lead to your success.

I believe that meaningful change in any area of life requires the following: self-awareness, conscious effort and patience.

Self-Awareness

This is the act of progressively delving deeper and deeper into your own life and psyche, to help you become acutely aware of how you function as a human being. This acute awareness enables you to pinpoint what you need to change.

If the changes you’re making are to be lasting, then they need to be made consciously and with a set end goal in mind.

Turning your focus inwards allows you to better see and understand how you came to be where you are, taking away any potential to blame others for where you find yourself. It could also show you where along the journey you may have taken a wrong turn and so gives you insight into how to plan and better execute any changes you need to make.

Conscious Effort

Creating something new requires effort. To create a life you are proud of demands your conscious effort. This type of effort entails taking small but considered steps consistently towards your goal.

This is exactly how I overcome my fear of swimming in deep water. I beat my fear simply by going to the swimming baths and swimming consistently 2-3 times a week, every week for over a year.

Patience

Rome was not built in a day as they say, and similarly, making important changes to your life, may take time and will most likely require planning and patience. Although in some cases, a small act on your part can lead to profound changes in your life. However, for most of us, lasting change takes time. Be patient with your process.

So, to conclude, your life is in your hands. Change is in your hands.

If you don’t like how your life is looking now, then it’s up to you to change it. Take full responsibility for your life as it looks now, and for how you want it to look in the future. Take small, patient steps and slowly but surely, you will succeed in your goal of making the changes you dream of.